Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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