White coat. Heels.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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