I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't deserve a penis
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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