So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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