Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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