At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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