I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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