i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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