I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
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rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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