Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
