Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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