nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
