I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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