im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
