she woke up with a sticky ear
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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