My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
