Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
