Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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