And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
