Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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