we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
