I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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