One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
