we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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