somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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