I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
