We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
