why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
