So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
