Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
