Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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