Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize