i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
