Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We have so much sex to catch up on
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
