if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
