I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can I color on your dick again?
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All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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