Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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