I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
