I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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