so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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