Yo dont text me then not text me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
