Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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