we made out on top of his cat.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
