accomplished twins. life is a go
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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