Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
