She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
