I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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