Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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