also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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