i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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