its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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