cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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