i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
