Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
