u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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