Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
