you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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