We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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