Don't you send me to vm
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
