I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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