My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize