I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Say something about gay babies.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
