He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
