Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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