I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Someone signed my nipple.
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