he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
50% drunk capacity currently
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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